Self deprecation
Helps me cope with your horse shit
Don't look at me, please.

Smoking weed all day
Helps to ease the suffering
Of my discontent

I think one day I
Will piss on your lazy boy
Then leave for 3 months

Thinking about you
Eating your own eyebrow hair
Makes me sick, dad

I always see you
Pulling out your eyebrow hair
And then eating it

Smoking weed helps me
Forget all of your bull shit
Worst father ever

Fucking you over
Through income tax deductions
Thirteen hundo, bitch

Found your stenograph
Deserved what you got, dumbass
Hope prison was fun

Good parents do not
Leave pornographic comics
In the living room

You drink way too much
And then drive your van back home
I hope you crash, dad

Your stupid white van
Pulls in the driveway at 5
Always hope it won't.

I have five pound weights
Which I use for muscle tone
I would bludgeon you.

Stupid idiot
Passed out in the lazy boy
I hate you so much

I found a website
That can send poop through the mail
Keep an eye out, dad.

I hope I get rich
So Nancy will divorce you
Go back to prison

Your Pepsi is flat
T'was I who left the cap off
And spit in your rum

It isn't my fault
That you're a coked up dickhead
Some how it's my fault...

You say one more word
And I'll punch you in the throat
Right in the damn throat

I still can't believe
That I'm related to you
Go back to prison

Got dealt a shit hand
To have you as a father
You're a fucking prick

This is for serious

Just so you know, dad
I'm always flipping you off
When you can't see me

He made my life hell
And shouldn't have had children
Wish I wasn't born

I hope you buy coke
From an undercover cop
And go back to jail

Want a rum and coke?
Forget to fill the ice tray?
I'll fill it with piss

Yes I opened the
National Geographic
Go fuck yourself, dad

You don't work that hard
And I hope you get fired soon
No one will hire you

I hate you so much
I won't answer my phone, dad
Please stop calling me

I don't care at all
About your Blue Ray player
Shove it up your ass

No I will not go
To the liquor store for you
Get off your fat ass

Years of therapy
And I smoke weed every day
My dad fucking sucks